CHANGE IN ME

3 rd December, 2008. For the majority of the world, It will be an ordinary day, but for me and for my family, this day changed my life.

The much loved head of my family, my grandfather, died of a heart attack this day. He was just 63. His departure came as a big shock to all of us because my grandfather was as fit as anyone else we knew but also because of what it now meant for our life.

Now days, if I ever reflect my life before my eyes, I see that I think of it in two different phases. AD and WD, After Dada (grandfather in hindi) and with him.

Let’s now go back, say, about six years.

Six years ago, I was ten years old, an athlete, a sport person, a skinny yet tall child and most of all, I always smiled.

Now, in the present time, I will hit sixteen in the winter, I am a book worm, a wanna be writer, an overweight girl, short for her age and the worst thing of all, I don’t know how to smile.

Six years ago, I was the person whom everyone wanted to be with.

Now, I am the person always available in need.

Six years ago, I was over out spoken, and was never afraid to voice my opinions.

Now, I cant even speak properly. I stutter, stammer, mix up word and have a permanent case of a bad throat. Even worse, now I apply myself the way I think people would like me to be.

Six years ago, I had so many friends that it was difficult to keep the number straight. I was funny, lively always active.

Now, I have well over a thousand friends but none of them truly know me. Now I am serious, a neatness freak, and am always hoping that I would be involved in something larger than me.

Six years ago, I was innocent. I dreamed every day and I dreamed every night and in my heart, I believed that I could be whoever I wanted to be.

Now, I know that the world is not so easy and I have seen both the good and the bad it has to offer and I chose the good.

Six years ago, I loved listening to stories.

Now, I love making them myself.

Six years ago, I was a wild child getting kicked out of schools whom most mistook for a boy.

Now, I am the presentation of a good student and am about as respectful as any aristocrat.

Six years ago, I loved my world and hated any change.

Now I can’t help but make one.

Six years ago, I was nobody important.

Now, I hope to be.